Category Archives: Rants

Aside

Of all the Super Bowl commercials yesterday, this one is easily the most horrifying. I’m going to have nightmares about this. Continue reading

TV Rot: “Sleepy Hollow” Season 1

Sleepy HollowLast night a week ago (sorry it took so long to get this up), I finished watching the first season of “Sleepy Hollow,” and I thought it would be interesting to really sit down and think about what I just saw. There will be spoilers, so consider yourself warned.

Based very, very loosely on “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow” by Washington Irving, “Sleepy Hollow” uses very, very loose interpretations of characters from that story for a modern day supernatural thriller which chronicles the beginning of the Apocalypse. Ichabod Crane is now a Revolutionary War soldier as opposed to a superstitious school teacher, and is actually responsible for the Headless Horseman becoming headless. And the Headless Horseman is now Death, one of the four Horsemen of the Apocalypse. So, it really has nothing to do with the original story except for the names.

That’s not to say that it’s bad. Actually, the show has a certain charm to it, as well as being very plot heavy with little padding. What works?

Well, to start, the short season works very well. With only thirteen episodes this season, the show didn’t rely on much padding or side stories to fill time like other shows do (*cough*”Lost”*cough*). As a result, the show ends up being very fast-paced with huge plot-important revelations every other episode. Actually, I’m a little concerned about this fast plot, as the writers could write themselves into a corner very easily in a short time span. But it does keeps the show focused rather than having the characters pursue every shiny object that crosses their path.

I like that the main villain is not Satan. It would have been so easy to rely on a tried and true (and overused) villain. Instead, the writers have gone with a very specific demon as the villain: Moloch. It was actually somewhat refreshing to see them not fall back on Satan. As a matter of fact, Moloch has a very rich history in ancient mythology, and it would be fascinating to see them bring that in and include it in the overall plot. In addition, I get the impression that the Horsemen are not actually on Moloch’s side, but that they’re more like mercenaries and Moloch is buying them off with promises of love to Death and revenge to War.

The acting is generally good, although occasionally hammy. Tom Mison play Ichabod Crane as a man confused and out of time only when it’s plot convenient or for a joke, but seems perfectly comfortable and well-adjusted the rest of the time. Nicole Beharie does well as Lt. Abby Mills, but I feel she’s somewhat underutilized and is remaining unexplored as a character except for what she saw in the woods as a child. Other than that, she’s almost a generic cop. Captain Frank Irving is much more deeply explored, portrayed excellently by Orlando Jones who shows how torn he is between his job and his family.

Finally, and a bit of a letdown, is Henry Parrish. I know that statement is going to be controversial, but hear me out. When Parrish is introduced, it appears to be as a one-off character played by John Noble, an actor of extraordinary talent. But that’s where the problem comes in. When Parrish began to appear repeatedly, you realize very quickly that something is up. And when Parrish’s true identity is revealed in the season finale, it doesn’t come as much of shock as the audience has now been expecting it. In fact, the whole reveal that he is actually the Cranes’ son felt a little too tidy. We knew that Jeremy was going to play a bigger role and couldn’t have just died. That would have been totally pointless, and one thing the first season of “Sleepy Hollow” has shown is that they use everything they introduce. But having Parrish be Jeremy felt like they were economizing their characters a little too neatly, and it became obvious that Parrish was more than he was letting on when he kept coming back.

And, let’s be honest: The Headless Horseman carrying a machine gun. Good for a laugh, but mostly silly.

So, what do I want to see from the next season? Well, for starters, I would like them to stick to a short season format. Thirteen episode a season seems perfect, and prevents the show from having to rely on padding. Don’t over-extend yourselves, guys. We’ll obviously need to get personifications of the other Horsemen, although Pestilence sort of showed himself (or herself) already. I would like to see more of Moloch’s background and character explored. It seems like there’s so much more that isn’t being said there. Andy Brooks will need to return since his “death” after his transformation felt lame and a waste of his character. They’ll also have to either play up Ichabod Crane being a man out time or give up on it altogether, but they really need to find a mood with his character.

Ultimately, the first season acted as the setup. The second season will be where the show either explores and intrigues or goes off into the realm of the silly and mediocre. In other words, the second season is what’s going to make or break “Sleepy Hollow.” The first season has been interesting, but not without it’s problems, so they either fix these with the second season or risk killing the show. I’ll be watching the second season to find out.

Aside

Is it just me or has Carls Jr. given up any pretense that they’re not catering to the lowest common denominator with their latest ad? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uKUM8ps8ccA

Geek Out: Night of the Doctor

WritingIf you’ll forgive me, I need to geek out for a moment. As many may know out there, I’m a huge fan of “Doctor Who.” Not just the new series. I was a fan of the show all the way back with the classic series. We’re approaching the 50th anniversary of the show, one week from this posting, and a couple of days ago, we were given a big surprise: A prequel to the 50th anniversary special called “Night of the Doctor.” And, oh boy, was it a big surprise:

While it’s cool, when put into the context of the original series, it becomes very chilling and could have serious implications for the series to come.

First, we get the return of Paul McGann, the Eighth Doctor. This is something fans have been clamoring for since the series restarted in 2005, especially since it was confirmed that his Doctor is considered canon to the series. So people have wanted closure with his Doctor. They’ve wanted to know what his Doctor did, how he died, and any details of his adventures. We get this in droves with this special.

Not only do we see how this Doctor died, but the Doctor confirms that the Big Finish audio productions are canon by naming his companions during those adventures. This is where the trouble begins. Up to now, the audio stories have not been considered canon to the series. So if those are now a genuine part of the story, does that mean that the Virgin New Adventures novels are also part of the story as well?

If they are, this spells a lot of trouble for the Doctor. In “Night of the Doctor,” we also get the return of the Sisterhood of Karn from the 1976 story “The Brain of Morbius,” keepers of the Sacred Flame and the Elixir of Eternal Life. The Sisterhood had a relationship with the Timelords, where the Timelords would sometimes need their Elixir, at least according to “The Brain of Morbius.” But in the Virgin New Adventures, that connection went deeper. In the books, Timelord society as it was seen in the classic series rose after overthrowing the matriarchal religious society under their ruler Pythia. When they were cast out, they fled and settle on Karn, their remnants becoming the Sisterhood of Karn.

So, if this is true to the story, as it’s now indicated that it might be, that means the remnants of Pythia were responsible for setting the Doctor up to destroy the Timelords, the society who rebelled against them and cast them out. This could potentially have far reaching implications for the show.

Geek moment over.

The Man in the Tan: A Poetic Satire

ThumbnailThe Man in the Tan: A Poetic Satire by Sheldon Nylander
The economy of was down.
The banks had all fallen prey
To over-speculation
And no money to play.

Obama was elected
On a promise of change,
But the conservative backlash
Was really quite strange.

The midterm elections
Came around with a bang
And the House wound up falling
To a conservative gang.

A Tea Party entered
With no scones in sight
And with a big splash of Koch
They were ready to bite.

But who would lead them
As their rollbacks began?
Then entered an old voice.
He was the Man in the Tan.

He promised them changes,
But more the reverse.
His big sticking point
Was tightening the purse.

He promised them money.
He promised them freedom.
He promised them a return
To the Nineteen Fifties kingdom.

But his views didn’t hold
With a lot of the voters.
It was the Democrats who saved
The General Motors.

“We do not like the Orange Speaker of the House.
We do not like him. The man is a louse.”

Do you like him in his ties,
Even with his bald-faced lies?

“We do not like him in his ties,
Including all his bald-faced lies.
We do not like the Orange Speaker of the House.
We do not like him. The man is a louse.”

Would you with a cup of Tea
With his policies agree?

“We would not with a cup of Tea,
And from his policies we flee.
We do not like the Orange Speaker of the House.
We do not like him. The man is a louse.”

Would you if he gave out checks
On the floor of the House complex
From Big Tobacco, with respects?
You would not feel any ill effects.

“We would not, could not accept his checks
Especially in the House complex.
Instead we need some exorcists
To remove the Man’s lobbyists.
We do not like the Orange Speaker of the House.
We do not like him. The man is a louse.”

Into the House
The Orange Speaker did swagger
With a tear in his eye
And in the other a dagger.

The first thing they did
Before getting tough
Was read the Constitution.
An empty gesture, sure, but harmless enough.

Then it began.
At the mouth they did froth.
The rollbacks commenced.
From backs they took cloth.

They held the budget down
Towards a fiscal cliff they ran.
And their leader in all this
Was the Man in the Tan.

They got them a deal
To stop short of the cliff.
Then the Man let them go
And disappeared with a sniff.

But the adjournment did come
Before the next leaf
Could be turned over to vote
For Hurricane Sandy relief.

The people did cry.
The people did clamor.
But the Man in the Tan
Kept bringing the hammer.

Reagan’s policies he adored
Although they’d proved barren,
And what trickled down
Was really just urine.

His House cut off food stamps
For the poor and the needy.
But the only ones to benefit
Were his supporters, the greedy.

The Man struck a deal
With the Senate on budgets
But reneged on that promise
For the sake of his ballots.

He shutdown the Senate.
He shutdown the House.
No one could get help,
Not even the House mouse.

The families of workers
Were the ones getting screwed,
But the conservatives balked
And continued to feud.

But the outrage came
As the Tea Party did squeeze
The checks that won’t come
To fallen soldiers’ families.

“A clean budget they won’t vote for
To fix all the dimes.”
Although they tried on healthcare
A recorded forty-two times.

But a new battle loomed.
And there was a bad feeling
As a shadow approach:
The U.S. debt ceiling!

The Tea Party said
To let it all go.
They wore it with honor,
The party of “No.”

One Representative Cruz
Would be singing the blues
That despite all the news
No one agreed his views.

The Tea Party fought.
On ideology they did dwell.
But without any giving
It would all go to Hell.

But a debt ceiling crash
Would be a disaster.
Even the Man in the Tan
Began to work faster.

But too little, too late
Did the Speaker see through
A vote to save the country
And fell the other shoe.

The markets did crash,
The world was in turmoil,
The economy floundered,
And the money recoiled.

This was a crisis
That could not be undone.
At the end of it all
The Tea Party cried “We won!”

The people cried out
But everyone knew
The House was destroyed
Without Thing One or Thing Two.

He was the Speaker in Orange
He was a Speaker in trouble
But he was just now
The Speaker of rubble.

But if you read closely
You’ll notice, my friend,
That this is a tale
That we can amend.

The battle’s not over
And if we act now
This ending can change
And I’ll tell you how.

Let everyone know
Especially the powers
That’s you’re well aware
Of the precious ticking hours.

If enough voices rise
To affect a great change
We can end this debate.
That change is in range.

Email them all.
Write to their office.
Tell them to quit fooling
With the intern’s tight bodice.

Tell them we’re tired
Of all of this strife
This isn’t a game.
This is real life!

And keep writing and shouting
And remember their votes
And their coats and their notes
And their numerous quotes.

Remember this change
Has to happen with you.
If you fail to act,
You have no right to stew.

Vote with your ballots
Vote with your dollars
With enough votes we’ll get
Through their thick earwax armors.

Contact Congress