Pardon My Politics: Why I Voted Green

ThumbnailNote: I’m writing this while sick with some kind of stomach bug, so while I have what, in my mind, are rather cogent arguments, I wrote this in a hurry and may not have expressed myself in the best possible manner. I may come back and revisit it when I’m feeling better, but I want to publish this while it was still relevant.

I want to talk about politics for once. It’s something I generally avoid doing. It’s not that I don’t like politics. If anything, I’m something of a political junkie. It’s more that I don’t think most people care about it that much (at least in many conversations I’ve had) and that they care even less about my opinion. Sure, I’ll do the occasional funny quip on Twitter, or repost something on Facebook that’s so on the nose that I have a sick compulsion to do so, but generally, I keep my opinions to myself or directed to a very select group.

However, this once, I’m breaking my rule because I want to explain my strategic decision to vote Green in the 2012 election cycle.

To start, I don’t live in a swing state. California is pretty much a guarantee to go for Obama and the Democrats. So, I’m not putting anything at risk.

Usually, voting for a third party is accepted as a protest vote. It’s not really going to swing an election (there’s some debate about that in 2000, but I’m not going into that here), and it’s mostly done to make a point. Admittedly, my vote isn’t all that different when boiled down.

I don’t have anything personal against Obama, per se. I’m one of those people who is not all that disappointed with him, but probably for different reasons. It’s more that I didn’t have high expectations for him back in 2008. I’ve been through this before, and I recognized his words as, albeit inspiring, were ultimately not much more than campaign rhetoric. There has been a continuation of damaging Bush-era policies, and people claim that we had Wall Street reform, but I’m not sure what they’re talking about on that front. Now, I will grant that he has been hampered by a virulent and uncompromising Republican party who has systematically kept recovery efforts down in an effort to make Obama look bad. That’s not an exaggeration. That was actually their stated goal.

Which leads to the Romney/Ryan ticket. This ticket really seemed like a bad joke, and to be honest, I don’t get it. I don’t understand how a campaign can be run with such illogical and flat-out false statements, with a total disregard for reason or even basic math. And I don’t get why they have the support they do. I mean, if you’re part of the super-rich in this country, I get it. Romney’s your man, and you probably couldn’t get a better candidate who represents your interests. But I don’t understand anyone else voting for him. I don’t get how this many people are being convinced to vote against their own interests. Romney and Ryan are not your friend, and their policies will not help you or the country. The policies they’re promoting are what got us into this mess in the first place.

So, why did I vote for Jill Stein? Simply because the Green Party platform lines up the most with my own weighted values (based on how important each one is to me), making them what I’m ironically calling the “politically moral choice.” I decided to vote my conscience and inline with my values, not simply to vote for the lesser of two evils.

I hear the argument all the time that you’re just throwing your vote away by voting for a third party, or that you’re hurting the better candidate by taking votes away from them. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing it. If those candidates represented my values and stances, I would vote for them. The way I see it, third party candidates aren’t stealing votes, but rather the big two lost them because they refuse to address issues that are important to a number of people. And honestly, I think we could actually benefit from a European style parliamentary system with representation from third parties forcing the creation of alliances and coalitions between parties, creating truly productive compromise.

I’m not voting Democratic because the Democrats don’t represent me. The Democrats haven’t been a liberal party since the 1970s, despite what Fox News would have you believe. In fact, I find the Republicans more honest, At least they aren’t hiding the fact that they’re working for the rich and for big business. The Democrats, on the other hand, are wolves in sheeps’ clothing. They pretend that they’re working for the little guy, when in fact they’re working for the same people the Republicans are.

I have no illusions that the Greens will win. It would be nice if they could get 5 percent of the vote. It would even be nice if Gary Johnson and the Libertarians win 5 percent, as it would be advantageous to see a return of Eisenhower Republicanism to the political conversation. I doubt that will happen. But my vote for the Greens is a vote of conscience and a vote for representation rather than resignation.

Book Review: The Crud Masters

The Crud MastersThe Crud Masters by Justin Grimbol
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Let me get something out of the way before I go into the main review. The Crud Masters by Justin Grimbol is based on The Outsiders, a classic novel many were forced to read during school. I, however, was not. I have never read it. I have never seen the movie. So I went into reading this novel cold, without any prior knowledge of the material that it parodies. That being said, take this review with a grain of salt.

The Crud Masters are a poor gang that lives in a Hamptons-like seaside town and is menaced by the rich kids of NOLA. However, the world’s shorelines are also being menaced by Dagoons, giant mutant creatures that come up from the ocean to attack coastal communities. No one knows where they have come from or why they are so aggressive.

Our main character, Boogers, suffers from a chronic case of nasal congestion after he was addicted to nasal spray and gave it up. The other Crud Masters include a cuddler, a brash loudmouth, a young girl, an old man, an aging blue sexbot, and a moddy (someone who has modified their body extensively, in this case to look like a bear). During a night about town, a couple of them encounter the NOLA kids who attack them with their Transformer. No, seriously, his car turns into a giant fighting robot. This leads to some bad blood and the demands for a rumble. But how can the Crud Masters hope to beat the NOLA kids when they have an unbeatable robot?

I’m not sure if it was just me or the fact that I haven’t read The Outsiders, but I had a bit of a hard time getting into this one. Don’t get me wrong. It’s an easy read, and the final climactic scene is certainly fun and satisfying, but for some reason the overall novel just didn’t quite click with me. The characters are well developed, to the point that I did feel a bit sad about the tragic end of one of them. The plot makes sense, or at least as much sense as a bizarro novel can.

I guess that my biggest problem is the pacing. The pace at which the plot flows feels uneven and jerky. Then again, the original could be the same way and I just don’t know it. I’m judging this book on its own merits.

The Crud Masters is part of the 2011-2012 New Bizarro Authors Series, which means that this is Justin Grimbol’s first published novel. It’s a respectable effort and I did enjoy it, but probably not as much I thought I would, especially based on the awesome cover art. Again, I may not be giving this novel a fair shake, but I have to give The Crud Masters by Justing Grimbol only 3 out of 5 rampaging monsters.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Placenta of Love

Placenta of LovePlacenta of Love by Spike Marlowe
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Captain Carl is a Robo-pirate who develops and falls in love with an artificial intelligence that he has implanted into a placenta. This all takes place in an amusement park that covers the entire planet Venus. Don’t worry. It’s a lot to take in, and probably oversimplifies it a bit.

This is the basic plot behind Placenta of Love by Spike Marlowe, part of the 2011-2012 line in the New Bizarro Authors Series, which means that this is Marlowe’s first published novel. Each chapter begins with the description of a particular attraction around the park and how it works. It’s actually quite creative. It makes one wonder if the author may have been a Disney Imagineer in a previous incarnation.

The plot is decent. There’s some odd characters to be had, but nothing that’s really out of the realm of a bizarro novel. You have a Robo-cat that shows up and requests that Captain Carl gives it “spankies.” You have Pope Natzo Innocent of…okay, I’m not going into that because it would spoil the plot, and because this review would become an entire tome in and of itself were I to go into it.

It’s actually an interesting exploration into the how a childlike A.I. would potentially learn about its surrounding, decide it doesn’t want to do what it was designed to do, but then discovers that it may be necessary to address its true nature. In an amusement park. On the planet Venus. Well, it’s certainly a better exploration of this than that God-awful movie “A.I. Artificial Intelligence” for which I still haven’t forgiven Steven Spielberg and quite possibly never will.

The writing and the story line are good, if a bit far-fetched physically, which when dealing with a bizarro novel is saying something. My biggest complaint is probably the characters. Captain Carl and even Natzo Innocent are written well, with Carl as a developing and learning A.I., while Natzo is an experienced A.I. and has learned more about the ways of the world. But a lot of the other characters felt a little flat. Even Helen, Captain Carl’s love interest and titular placenta, comes off a bit two-dimensional, only pushing the boundaries of a third-dimension and not quite taking shape. Still, strip out the bizarro elements and it’s a classic, tragic love story. And I have to give the author credit for her creativity in actually thinking about how such an amusement park and each ride would work. That kind of attention to detail is surprising for a short novella, but helps bring the location to life.

Placenta of Love by Spike Marlowe earns 4 out of 5 glowing orange fingers.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Party Wolves in my Skull

Party Wolves in my SkullParty Wolves in my Skull by Michael Allen Rose
My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

Party Wolves in my Skull by Michael Allen Rose is troubling, but probably not in any conventional sense. I’ll have to explain that in a moment. But first…

Norman wakes up as his eyes are pushing their way out of his head to free themselves from his oppression. They’ve gained sentience and decided to free themselves and run off to get married. It’s a little more complicated than this, involving freedom of the proletariat and such, but it’s ultimately flavor without being that important to the plot. Anyway, Norman places a vacancy sign on his head, so the party wolves move into his skull, and they go with Norman to pursue his fleeing eyeballs. But the party wolves have a secret of their own. Along the way, they meet Zoe, a woman with a secret of her own who is being pursued by Walter, a giant talking walrus. Are you still with me?

Now for the troubling part: I don’t know if it’s because I’ve read too much bizarro fiction up to this point, but this novel makes a weird kind of sense. No, seriously! As I’m reading this book, I found myself stopping periodically and saying, “Yeah, I get that. It makes sense.” Or I just seriously need medication. I’ll have to figure that one out at a later date and not while working on a book review that involves a man with a wolf pack living in his head falling in love with a woman who previously engaged in human-walrus relations.

At the end, though, what I walk away from Party Wolves in my Skull thinking is that this book was just plain fun. It’s brain candy. It’s short, sweet, and fun. And the reveals of the characters’ secrets are themselves rather fun and add to the story and characters rather than detract from them. They don’t disappoint and add a couple of nice twists to the story and to the character development. Yes, the author manages to get some significant and believable character development here.

Party Wolves in my Skull by Michael Allen Rose earns 4.5 random pills out of 5.

View all my reviews

Book Review: Trashland A Go-Go

Trashland A Go-GoTrashland A Go-Go by Constance Ann Fitzgerald
My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

When an “accident” takes out Coco the stripper in the club where she works, the club manager and the DJ dump her body in the dumpster. This is no ordinary dumpster, but rather a doorway to the magical land of Narn…oh, wait, not quite.

Instead, Coco wakes up in Trashland, a land made entirely of rubbish. She is joined by a talking fly, Rudy, on her journey to find a way home. She meets the Oracle, who reads her fortune using a bag of discarded body parts, and then travels to the palace to meet the Queen, who seems to be a walking mold who gives off spores to dominate her subjects. Confused yet? Don’t be. Believe it or not, this is surprisingly normal compared to some of the bizarro fiction out there.

Trashland A Go-Go is part of the 2011 line of the New Bizarro Authors Series, meaning that this is Constance Ann Fitzgerald’s first published novel. And it’s a very respectable effort for a first time genre novelist. In fact, it’s quite good. There are just a couple of things that need to be nitpicked.

First, I felt like I was missing a large chunk of the story. Literally, it felt like this started out as a larger story and got cut down, but that some of the sections cut may have been significant to the story. In fact, this makes it feel skeletal with chunks of meat hanging from the bones, rather than a complete, fully-formed story.

This ties into the second problem, which is that some of the secondary characters seem superfluous. They really don’t serve much of a purpose. The case that stood out to me was how the club’s DJ also ends up in Trashland. But this doesn’t seem to serve a purpose other than to show that Trashland is real and not some kind of weird afterlife for Coco. But then the DJ serves no other purpose other than as cannon fodder later on. A common complaint I tend to have with bizarro books is that they feel like there should be more, but in the case of “Trashland A Go-Go,” this is a glaring problem and I wish the book were longer and more fleshed out.

However, the prose is very smooth, and the editing is actually quite sublime. This book does not suffer from another common complaint, which is that it needs more editing or careful prose. Fitzgerald is quite good and clearly practiced at writing, and this book definitely peaked my curiosity. I hope she continues to write and publish, because I am genuinely curious about what she will be capable of, especially if she gets the chance and chooses to write a longer story. I really want to give this novella a higher score because, don’t get me wrong, the writing is very, very good (and I don’t give that kind of praise lightly), but the chopped up story and superfluous characters were just too big of a problem for me and left too many questions.

Trashland A Go-Go by Constance Ann Fitzgerald earns 3.5 mold spores out of 5.

View all my reviews