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Book Review: There’s No Happy Ending

Posted on December 5, 2013 | Leave a comment

There's No Happy EndingThere’s No Happy Ending by Tiffany Scandal

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Gee, nice title. Spoilers…

As an entry in this year’s New Bizarro Author Series, Tiffany Scandal gives us something very different with the standout There’s No Happy Ending. This series is something I’ve looked forward to every year since its inception because it gives us new authors and new voices in fiction that we haven’t read before, and the results are often unique and in some ways challenging.

This is the case with There’s No Happy Ending. The story revolves around Isobel and Dresden, and couple who plan to get married. However, Dresden comes from money and his mother does not approve of his plans to wed Isobel. In addition, the entire world, buildings and people included, are literally falling apart for reasons unknown.

To start off, the book is bleak. It doesn’t let you down with its title or description. This is not a book I would recommend for the seriously depressed. Or maybe I would, and say “Remember, at least the world isn’t falling apart.” Yet there’s still something that grabs the reader. One thing that makes this book so different from the other entries is the lack of humor. That’s not say that there aren’t a couple of funny moments to be had. But the humor is used sparingly, and it’s a far more serious book than the others in this year’s series.

It’s a love story in its purest form, as Isobel tries to find Dresden and Dresden tries to escape the clutches of his mother to reunite with Isobel. Even as the world is falling apart, the characters never lose sight of their desire to find one another. And, despite how it may sound, this central character trait comes off as endearing rather than annoying, something that isn’t always easy to accomplish. You find yourself rooting for the main characters and wanting them to find each other before the end of the world. And it’s not a cheesy love story by any means. This is probably why this otherwise bleak book is so tolerable: In a world suffering from the worst case of entropy imaginable, the author gives the reader something to hope for, to watch two likable characters do everything they can just to be with one another, even as the world ends around them.

The prose flows beautifully. While not lyrical, it’s clean with few errors and the words roll over your eyes and mind smoothly with no discomfort. It makes it very easy to read and enjoy the book. As I’ve stated in other reviews, technical errors really bug me, but there are very few to break the flow of the prose and keeps the reader trapped in the book.

That’s not to say that everything is hunky dory. There is an unanswered question or two that leave the reader at a bit of a loss. It’s probably supposed to be left up to interpretation, but it still becomes an annoyance. An oddity and a minor blemish on an otherwise great first novel.

If you’re looking for a book that, while part of the bizarro genre, is rather bleak and yet manages to inspire the reader to hope in its own way, this is the book for you. Simply keep in mind the usual bizarro humor is kept at a minimum and remember that, of course, there’ no happy ending.

There’s No Happy Ending by Tiffany Scandal earned 4 entropic zombies out of 5.

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Book Review: Grambo

Posted on December 1, 2013 | Leave a comment

GramboGrambo by Dustin Reade

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

The New Bizarro Authors Series is always interesting. It provides a testing ground for new voices in fiction and new styles that we may not have seen before. It’s often a breath of fresh air in the world of fiction writing.

Grambo by Dustin Reade is one such entry in this year’s NBAS. By the title and the cover, most will probably already know what the main theme of the book is, but there are enough unique elements that make this book worth a read.

The book starts with Martha covered in the blood of her enemies, then we flashback to how she got there. Yes, the entire book is one long flashback sequence. After Martha’s grandson costs his school their chance to go to the championship basketball game and a trip to the Supermall, the school’s faculty violently takes out their frustration on the entire family, but mistakenly leave Martha alive. After she is rescued by a mascot (that takes more explaining than I’m going to go into here), she begins recovering and train in martial arts and weapons to take her revenge on the faculty that killed her family.

The book is funny in a very self-aware kind of way. While it is very bloody and violent, it’s also done in a strange tongue-in-cheek kind of way. This is especially apparent when we get a training montage in the middle of the book. Yes, an actually movie style montage in writing. The author never loses site of the humor, even if it turns dark at times, and keeps the book self-aware that what we’re reading is rather silly, and that makes it work in a special way.

Now, being a fan of action movies and having seen all the “Rambo” films, I could be an internet troll and nitpick here that there isn’t that much in common with the actually films. But that’s unfair. It’s probably got more in common with “Death Wish” or even “Kill Bill,” but you try and find a punny title that works with those. Martha is not a Vietnam vet who’s being run out of town or on a rescue mission or in isolation and bitter at the world. It’s pure revenge fantasy.

The plot is not the steadiest thing in the world. It does feel at times like it has a bit of a stop and start motion to it. It’s not necessarily bad, as a breather from bloody, violent action is needed at times, but at the same time it’s occasionally a little unsteady, and the ending is almost diabetically sweet in contrast to the rest of the book, but it needed a good end for a main character that, despite the arguably justifiable violence she perpetrated in her quest for revenge, still remains likable and endearing.

From a technical standpoint, the book is well edited, with very few flaws. I hate to point this out in a lot of my reviews, but it’s a sticking point for me, and I feel it’s worth noting. So I’m pleased to say that there’s very little in the way of writing or editing flaws to pull the reader off the page. A plus for the author and the editor.

Grambo is a loving tongue-in-cheek tribute to action and revenge films, with well-drawn, focused characters. While the violence is extreme and over-the-top, it’s never inappropriately so. That sounds kind of strange, but when reading the book, you understand that the violence fits the theme perfectly. While the plot is occasionally a little jerky, it’s never overly so, and on the whole, this book makes for a fun read.

Grambo by Dustin Reade earns 4 ninja throwing stars out of 5.

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Book Review: Babes in Gangland

Posted on December 1, 2013 | Leave a comment

Babes in GanglandBabes in Gangland by Bix Skahill

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

I always enjoy the New Bizarro Authors Series. It’s something I look forward to every year. With this series, I get to read new voices in fiction, and often it’s a refreshing change to the norm, even within the bizarro genre.

Babes in Gangland by Bix Skahill introduces us to one of the seediest, most crime-ridden cities in the world, whose major industry is slaughterhouses. Kid Phoenix is a gangster who is shot behind his favorite strip joint slash educational facility, Stripping Through History. But in the hospital, an accident causes his soul to be transfer to a newborn baby. Nine months later, with the help of enormous henchman Ram Bountybar (great name, by the way), Kid Phoenix, now Baby Jaydon, begins a rampage as he tries to find out who had the guts to shoot him and exact his revenge. He is pursued by by a 100-year old cop and his 13-year-old partner with progeria.

First of all, this book is flat-out funny. Skahill never manages to lose the humor through the course of the novel. Actually, the two cops were funnier than Kid Phoenix/Baby Jaydon managed to be. He comes of as cute and funny for a little while, but by the end of the novel, he starts to wear a little thin. This might have more to do with shock-funny value of a little baby cussing and saying the kind of stuff that would make Tony Soprano blush, but it wears off after a little while. That’s probably why Baby Herman remained more of a secondary character in “Who Framed Roger Rabbit?”

At the same time, I think Skahill realized this, which is why the chapters get broken up and part of the story gets told from the viewpoint of the two cops as the book progress. It provides some relief and a bit of a mental refresh.

Switching off the viewpoints actually comes very naturally and is not jarring at all. Skahill manages to provide a unique voice for all of his characters to the point where I could practically hear their voices in my head with little trouble (don’t worry, I’m still taking my medication). I have to give kudos to the author for that as that’s not always an easy feat, especially with the way characters come and go from within this story as quickly as they do.

While the story is a fun and funny journey, I have to admit that the destination was disappointing. The entire plot basically raps up in two pages with an ending that almost comes completely out of the blue. There were hints to one mystery throughout this book that made the answer a bit obvious, but the other one comes out of nowhere, and frankly, it kind of pissed me off a little. It felt almost like the author just rolled the dice and let random chance decide the solution to the mystery with no hints to go back and say, “Oh yeah! I see it now!” and completely spoils one of the more endearing characters. Now, when you think about it and the motives given are explained, you can accept them halfway. But the fact that there weren’t enough or really any clues throughout the book makes it blindside the reader, and not in a good or satisfying way that makes one say “Yeah, that makes sense.” Instead, it leaves the reader saying “What the…?”

Still, as I mentioned, it’s a fun journey with lots of humor and great characters (and great character pairings), but it would have left me a lot more satisfied with more build-up or hints as the end approached. It’s like enjoying the taste of a fine steak as you chew it, but then being forced to spit it out right as you’re about to swallow.

Babes in Gangland by Bix Skahill earns 3.5 tommy guns out of 5.

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Book Review: The Cheat Code for God Mode

Posted on November 16, 2013 | Leave a comment

The Cheat Code for God ModeThe Cheat Code for God Mode by Andy de Fonseca

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

Every year, I look forward to the New Bizarro Authors Series, when I get to read new and untested voices in fiction. This series is all new authors, who have not previously had a published book, to test the waters for one year and see how well they are accepted by a wider audience.

I began this year by reading The Cheat Code for God Mode by Andy de Fonseca, which proved to be troubling. Not bad, just troubling, primarily because this book’s greatest strength is also its biggest weakness which is what makes writing and scoring this review so difficult.

Margy Plum and Victor Vance live in an odd world, where portals and wormholes are everyday modes of transportation and 8-bit pets are programmed to their owners’ needs. But something is amiss. First, Margy is having what she can only describe as psychotic episodes where she thinks she’s someone else. Then the two of them discover a game that, after entering a special code, allows them to change and control the world around them. This catches the attention of some rather special people who have been trying to track this game down for a long time. Unfortunately, I can’t say much more about the plot without giving away too much. This is part of the mystery of the book which I don’t want to spoil.

The characters are well written and even sympathetic. As far as a bizarro book goes, it’s also relatively tame, with any sexual references toned down or only implied. The editing is also very good, with few or no errors to pull the reader off the page. Which is good, because the plot is so involving.

Okay, those are the basics. To get more complicated, the book is just the right length. I know that sounds weird to say, but this is one of those instances where it fits. Sometimes I complain that these bizarro books are too short, and they feel like there is a lot more story left to tell. With The Cheat Code for God Mode, this is not the case. The author crams a lot of story into a fairly short space, and makes it work. What’s even more interesting is that it’s a complete story that doesn’t feel rushed. You get a full, satisfying tale that doesn’t leave many loose ends in a short space.

So, what’s the problem? That takes some explaining. This book is a nerd’s dream. It has tons of references to pop culture, science, and everything in nerdom. This made it a lot of fun as I read through it and could pick apart all the little things I recognized. Even a large chunk of the book is based on an actual scientific hypothesis of parallel universes.

This is where the problem comes in. When I review a book, I try to see it from more than one perspective when it comes to recommending it. I can tell if I enjoy a book, but I also try to imagine if it will be enjoyed by, well, not-me. And there’s the rub. It ‘s actually very hard to tell if this would be enjoyed by not-me. While it calls out lots of things that will make a nerd giggle with glee, I can see not only the jokes going over the heads of those who aren’t familiar with the subject, but possibly missing the point altogether. The book easily feels like it could have been a heavily hyperlinked ebook, or a heavily footnoted book like David Foster Wallace’s Infinite Jest, just so that people who aren’t familiar with the little nuances or the main subject could understand what they are and why they’re there, although the humor might still be lost on them.

It makes a great start to this year’s New Bizarro Authors Series. While this book has compelling and sympathetic characters, a great and full story, and lots of little references and jokes that fit well in the context and aren’t simply shoe-horned in, The Cheat God for God Mode gets a high recommendation but with grave reservations. If you’re a nerd who’s familiar with science and pop culture, you’ll get a lot out of this. But if you don’t, then you may end up feeling very lost in this strange universe.

The Cheat Code for God Mode by Andy de Fonseca earns 4 8-bit chickens out of 5.

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Book Review: You Are Sloth

Posted on October 31, 2013 | Leave a comment

You Are Sloth!You Are Sloth! by Steve Lowe

My rating: 5 of 5 stars

The sloth: An odd tree-dwelling animal, the most commonly referred to species of which has three toes and a permanent smile on its face.

The spammer: An internet-based douchebag who sends unsolicited email in bulk.

How are these two related? In You Are Sloth by Steve Lowe, a criminal simply known as the Spammer has begun sending out emails that turn people into their power animal. When you (yes, you) are turned into a sloth, you must join with your neighbors Cross the Asshole and Randy the Retard (named so by Cross the Asshole), you must track down the Spammer, discover his dastardly plot, and reap some three-toed vengeance.

So, the first thing you’ll notice is how I referred to “you” as the main character. That’s because this book is written in a second-person perspective (for those not familiar with literary terms, first person is “I,” second person is “you,” and third person is “he/she/it,” to put it quickly). The second-person perspective is usually used in things like those old “Choose Your Own Adventure” books. This is not one of those. It’s simply an experimental way of telling the story, and it works. I have to give Lowe a lot of credit for risking this kind of perspective. It’s odd at first, but you get used to it very quickly.

The second thing is that this book is funny. It is really funny. The humor is gross, inappropriate, and yet given the characters this book deals with, it couldn’t be any other way. These are very low-brow characters. If you don’t like lots of feces or mature themes in your story, especially death by bukkake, this might not be the best book for you. For me, it works perfectly in the context of this story.

The story flows, the characters develop, and it’s a fun journey along the way as you discover how to be a sloth. If anything, this book actually reminds me a little of Lowe’s earlier book Muscle Memory. In both books, characters find themselves in different bodies and have to come to terms with themselves, what they’ve done, and how they’ve lived their lives. This similarity isn’t necessarily a bad thing. I liked “Muscle Memory,” and while it’s a similar theme, the story itself is completely different.

I can’t really find a fault with this book. It’s hysterically funny, thoughtful, experimental, and really just an outright fun book to read. You really can’t go wrong here. Steve Lowe has written what is arguably one of the best books I’ve read all year, and I’m not exaggerating when I say that.

You Are Sloth by Steve Lowe earns 5 three-toes out of 5.

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