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Book Review: Shatnerquest

ShatnerquestShatnerquest by Jeff Burk

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I don’t usually do this, but I need to warn about spoilers for this one, because it’s pretty much impossible to write a review for this book without revealing certain things. You’ve been warned.

Shatnerquest by Jeff Burk is odd to review. Not necessarily difficult, just odd. There’s something about it that works. It’s silly. It’s violent. It’s plain weird. But somehow, the stars aligned for this one, and it works…mostly. It’s also odd in that it wasn’t actually supposed to happen. When Jeff Burk published Shatnerquake, he listed among his works Shatnerquest and Shatnerpocalypse. At the time, this was supposed to be a joke. These books didn’t actually exist. So, Shatnerquest is a satire born out of another joke. Jeff Burk needs to be careful or else he’s going to create a satirical black hole that will swallow all comedy as we know it.

The first thing you may ask is how this book relates to Shatnerquake, given the way that one ended. Well, it does and it doesn’t. That one’s hard to explain. Starting out during a Magic: The Gathering tournament at SuperCoolCon, the apocalypse occurs. Again. And this one is both a bad one and awesome at the same time. Every being from science fiction and fantasy becomes real and lays waste to civilization. Godzilla, zombie Borg, etc. There’s even a Dalek that is an actual exterminator of tribbles. Benny, Janice, and Gary, along with Benny’s cat Squishy, all wearing Starfleet uniforms (including Squishy in a red shirt) decided that the thing to do during this apocalypse is to go save William Shatner. Hey, everyone needs a hobby, even during Armageddon. On their cross-country trip to Los Angeles, they are pursued by Koloth, another nerd who’s dressed as a Klingon and leads a white supremacist biker gang who all wear Klingon forehead ridges. Yep, you read that right.

While Shatnerquake was a satirical tribute to William Shatner, Shatnerquest is a satirical tribute to all things nerdy. Even as passing mentions, just about everything nerdy appears in this book. It’s like one gigantic ComicCon, all the way up to the final confrontation with Shatzilla and the Takei (who’s portrayed as a parody of Mothra; guess what his battle cry is; go on, I dare you!). How does this story relate to Shatnerquake? Well, again, it does and it doesn’t. It makes reference to the events of that book, but that’s all. So you should be safe in reading this book if you haven’t read the other one.

As for Jeff Burk’s writing style, you can tell how much he’s matured since writing Shatnerquake. Well, matured in a relative sense. His prose is a lot cleaner and he can get the ideas across much better. Not that he was bad to begin with, but his experience since writing Shatnerquake shows. He even dares to break the fourth wall a couple of times, as the characters state at one point that some things aren’t how they’re portrayed in the source material and that they’re firmly in parody territory now. It was rather striking when he did that, but funny all the same.

There are still some editing issues, which has always been a sticking point for me. They’re not as bad in Shatnerquest though, especially given that this book is twice as long as Shatnerquake, so they’re spaced out a little better. Granted that they still add up, but it’s not as much of an issue here. Yes, this is a much longer novel than Shatnerquake, and it works in that form very well, although by the end I was ready for it to stop. Burk does push it right up to the line of tolerance. Still, it shows that Burk can writing a longer-form novel, and I’d actually like to see what else he can write in that form.

A good tribute all things nerdy, Shatnerquest by Jeff Burk earns 4 redshirted cats out of 5.

Book Review: Shatnerquake

ShatnerquakeShatnerquake by Jeff Burk

My rating: 3.5 of 5 stars

Do you remember that scene in “Being John Malkovich” where Malkovich steps into his own head and winds up in a world where everyone is John Malkovich and says nothing but “Malkovich” repeatedly? Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk is kind of like that.

While it’s a satire/parody, it’s also a loving tribute to William Shatner. Taking place at Shatnercon. the Campellians (cultish followers of Bruce Campbell) plant a fiction bomb in the theaters where they’re showing Shatner’s past works. But something goes wrong, and instead of erasing Shatner’s work from everyone’s memory like it’s supposed to do, it brings all of Shatner’s characters to life. All of them!

I have to give Burk credit to bringing not only Shatner’s most famous roles like Captain Kirk or Denny Crane to life, but also some of the characters most people have likely forgotten, like the Star Trek Animated Series version of Kirk or his hosting duties on “Rescue 911” (who appears fairly often because, let’s face it, it’s a Jeff Burk bizarro novel, so there’s going to be a lot of violence). Some people will probably be in a state of nerd euphoria or nerd rage over the scene with a psychotic Captain Kirk wielding a working lightsaber. I personally blame Jeff Burk putting that idea out there which may have inspired the hiring of J.J. Abrams to direct the new Star Wars movie. Now let’s go tear down the observatory so this never happens again!

As a story it works. No really, it does. It definitely follows a pretty standard story structure. The literary depiction of Shatner and his characters is okay, although there’s clearly a reason these work better on screen than on the page. There are a couple of places where Burk breaks from the standard story, which at least leaves the reader guessing and prevents it from being completely predictable. There were some areas that I felt were lost opportunities, but then again those would have been what we expected him to do. One complaint I have is that Bob could have been much better developed and could have been a bigger part of the story. There was a lot of potential there.

And, I really hate to have to nitpick here, but again, editing mistakes get stuck in my craw. Mispellings, grammar errors, etc. I know I’m a stickler for this, but it’s important, and adds to the professional level of the work. While the editing errors in “Shatnerquake” aren’t as excessive as I’ve seen in some other books, there are enough and they start to add up.

All in all, Shatnerquake is amounts to an amusing tribute to William Shatner. It’s pretty clear how much of a fan Burk is to have payed that much attention to different parts of Shatner’s career. I mean, Hell, he actually mentions Tekwar, which I’m sure most people have forgotten by now. A solid story, and certainly entertaining, and despite the violence and such, I’d generally call it one of the “safer” bizarro novels and would be a decent entry point into the genre, assuming you can deal with that much Shatner. I say give it a whirl. It’s a fun ride.

Shatnerquake by Jeff Burk earns 3.5 phaser kills out of 5.

Oddly enough, to be continued in Shatnerquest

Book Review: Diegeses

DiegesesDiegeses by D. Harlan Wilson
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

diegeses: noun, pl. di·e·ge·ses [dahy-uh-jee-seez]
1. the telling of a story by a narrator who summarizes events in the plot and comments on the conversations, thoughts, etc., of the characters.
2. the sphere or world in which these narrated events and other elements occur.
(from Dictionary.com)

“What the…?” is probably the first thing most people will say to themselves while reading Diegeses by D. Harlan Wilson. It’s the first book published by Anti-Oedipus Press and is currently only available as an e-book, with a paperback version scheduled to come out sometime in the summer of 2013. This is also my first introduction to Wilson’s work, so I had no previous experience on which to found expectations. What I got was a violent, surreal bizarro novella that’s probably going to stick with me for a while.

The book is divided into two parts. The first part, “The Bureau of Me,” follows Mr. Curd…er, sorry, that’s just Curd, as he is invited to a mysterious group called the Bureau of Me. What is the titular bureau? Well, even if I didn’t want to spoil it, I’m not entirely sure that I could tell you. Curd himself seems to be a drunk violence magnet. Weird happenings and violent attacks are drawn to him. Sometimes it’s hard to tell if everything is just going on inside his head, although my opinion is that it’s not. I’ll go into that a little more later.

The second part, “The Idaho Reality,” still involves Curd, but he’s not necessarily the center of the story anymore. Or is he? Okay, not really. It follows the production of a hyper-violent and pornographic futuristic soap opera, of which Curd is a part. Is he a character or one of the actors? Again, it’s hard to say as the line between what’s real and what’s just production gets a bit fuzzy here. This one shifts the point of view a lot more through a series of interrelated flash fiction pieces.

It’s an odd little book that covers character and storytelling, is about both, but not in the way you might think. It’s something that’s very difficult to explain without spoiling anything, or writing an analysis that could dwarf the book itself. The whole book is written as a stream of consciousness, involving a lot of weird, violent imagery. It doesn’t take much effort to conjure the images in your own head. That being said, despite that and the fact that it’s a fairly short book, I wouldn’t recommend blowing through the whole thing very quickly. It’s not the easiest of reads, and you may need a little more time chew on that last bite before you swallow it and take the next bite. In fact, this is one of those books that I’m probably going to have to go back and reread later to see if I can get anymore out of it or view it from a different perspective. Rarely has a book compelled me to do so.

Despite some of the issues I have with it, such as that the violent imagery may be a little too over-the-top without really adding to the story, the weird looping story arc, or the fact that none of the character are really likeable, I still liked this book in a weird sense. The way Wilson can conjure images into the readers’ head without much effort takes talent and is worth the experience. He gives the reader credit for being intelligent without needing to be spoon-fed every last bit. Again, it’s not going to be for everyone, what with the violent imagery, or just the stream-of-consciousness style of writing which can be jarring to some readers, and some might even hate this style. But if you give the book a chance, you’ll find that it’s more thought-provoking than you might have expected.

Diegeses by D. Harlan Wilson earns 4 broken beer bottles out of 5.

Book Review: Santa Steps Out

Santa Steps Out

This review is part of my Totally F@#$ed-Up Holidays. Enjoy!

Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux
My rating: 4.5 of 5 stars

What if the Santa Claus you think you know wasn’t really Santa? For that matter, if the Santa that Santa knows wasn’t really Santa?

In Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux, we are introduced to a world where the Christian angels, mythological figure (like Santa and the Easter Bunny), and even God himself were once other mythological being, but had their identities erased and were cast in new roles by the current being who calls himself God. This isn’t a spoiler, You’re told as much in the very beginning. For example, the angel Michael was originally Hermes, or the Son (guess who?) was at one time known as Apollo. Even Mrs. Claus was once another mythological being. And instead of Rudolph, Santa’s reindeer are led by Lucifer with flaming antlers (although there’s not indication that he is any relation to the Biblical Lucifer). But there’s a flaw with this new order, and certain mythological beings must never see each other, lest their true identities begin to leak through.

This is the case with Santa Claus and the Tooth Fairy. At one point, by sheer accident, they see each other, and a lusty past between them begins to leak through and revive, and Santa’s original identity begins to leak through and fights with himself (think Gollum in “The Lord of the Rings”). Then the Easter Bunny enters the fray. Take that for what you will.

It seems silly, but Santa Steps Out is actually incredibly good, not to mention surprisingly deep. It’s one of those books that makes you think at first that it’s going to be low-brow, highly sexualized and based solely on shock value. But it’s not this at all. It goes deeply into the subjects of history, identity, love, family, and loyalty.

The author’s choice of words doesn’t make it the easiest of reads. It’s like if Vladimir Nabokov wrote sexual holiday-themed bizarro fiction. Yet it’s so engaging that you never feel lost. The writing style is fluid and artistic, and the editing impeccable (something I’m usually a stickler for). Looking at the cover and the title, it really takes you by surprise. This book was a genuine pleasure to read.

The only complaint I have was the ending. Most of the answers we’re looking looking for are relegated to an epilogue, and things seem to get tied up too quickly, even with the subtle hint at the end that there is more to come. There is a sequel, Santa Claus Conquers the Homophobes, which I will eventually get around to reading if it’s anything like this book. Still, at the end it did feel like the author might have written himself into a corner and had to resort to deus ex machina to end the book, even while deus ex machina seemed inevitable. With knowledge that there is a sequel, this takes some of the sting out of it, as Santa Steps Out is rather hefty compared to many bizarro books, not to its detriment.

Santa Steps Out by Robert Devereaux earns 4.5 gold coins out of 5.

Book Review: Unholy Night

Unholy Night

This review is part of my Totally F@#$ed-Up Holidays. Enjoy!

Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

We generally know the story of the three wise men, who came to Jesus in the manger bearing gifts of gold, frankincense, and myrrh. Some say they were sages. Some say they were ancient astronomers. But what if the real story was entirely different and not told until now?

Okay, okay, it’s not the “real” story, per se, but it’s still a story. Unholy Night is written by Seth Grahame-Smith, who wrote the other re-imaginings Pride and Prejudice and Zombies and the recently-turned-into-a-movie Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Having read the others, I can definitely say that Unholy Night is Grahame-Smith’s most solid work so far.

The story primarily follows Balthazar, a thief who is known more commonly as the Antioch Ghost. After a series of mishaps on his latest caper, he is captured and brought before the diseased and decrepit Herod, who sentences him to death. While awaiting his fate in the dungeon cell, he meets two other thieves, Gaspar and Melchyor, and the three escape disguised in magis’ robes. They flee to the nearest location they can find to hide, which happens to be a manger in the nearby town of Bethlehem… You see where this is going?

The story is actually a lot more complicated than this, involving a deep pain in Balthazar’s past, the search for a lost pendant, and political dealing between the Romans and the Judeans. And, to be honest, I kind of liked it.

This is a much more solid book than the author’s previous work. I was really disappointed with Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, but that may have more to do with the fact that I’m not that fond of the source material. Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter felt like it was just okay and unevenly paced. It wasn’t that good, but it wasn’t bad either; it was just okay. With Unholy Night, Seth Grahame-Smith seems to have found his voice. It’s actually an exciting adventure story, involving sword and sorcery (as the runners are being pursued by a real magi) with decent pacing, some good mystery, and actually character development. Granted, the character development can be a little ham-fisted at times, but at least they actually develop and the author put some clear thought into it, and you find yourself caring about what happens to the characters as they flee from Herod’s soldiers with a newlywed couple and a baby in tow.

The only complaint I can give is really a half-complaint, because it is sort of the underlying point of the novel. Things seem to wrap up a little too neatly, with lots of coincidences. I know that’s supposed to be part of the point as it’s supposed to show the hand of God at work in the story, but it still felt way too tidy and could probably have used a little more realism. I would have suggested that some details be altered to deviate from the Biblical story a little more, since it’s such an ancient text that details could easily have been lost or changed over time. It felt like a missed opportunity. But that’s more a matter of taste probably. And, hey, we get an actual answer as to what caused the Great Fire of Rome that Nero ultimately blamed on the Christians. It’s actually kind of a clever reveal.

While it’s not perfect, it’s definitely a fun adventure story that makes a good read for adventure or fantasy fans. It’s a classic Bibilical story mixed with a popcorn adventure movie. A bit Indiana Jonesish, if you will.

Unholy Night by Seth Grahame-Smith earns 4 golden pendants out of 5.