Gigantic Death Worm by Vince Kramer
My rating: 4 of 5 stars
Okay, since this book read like a short stream of consciousness, I should probably meet it directly and write a short stream-of-consciousness review.
Gigantic Death Worm by Vince Kramer is part of the New Bizarro Author Series, which means it is his first published book. This book is amateurish, juvenile, racially insensitive, and just downright stupid.
At least, that’s the first impression one gets. The thing is, as you read it, you become aware that it’s written this way on purpose. This is not an amateur author. It’s a talented writer pretending to be an amateur.
And now my stream of consciousness just gave me A.D.D. and made me go look at Facebook. Okay, that’s not working. Slow down a little. What’s the book about?
Dave is on a ski trip in Arizona with his friend Mike and Mike’s girlfriend, Suzanne. Dave has brain parasites, or so he thinks. Turns out these little buggers are more than just parasites. Where did he get them? I’ll leave that for you to find out. Trapped on a ski lift, they are attack by bears. Bears that spit wolves. Yes, bears that spit wolves. Some worms grow from the carcass of one these wolves and become the gigantic death worms of the title. This all ties into the Mayan calendar and the end of the world somehow. And then Mexican ninjas appear to help stop the worms. Mexican ninjas led by Ponce de Leon II: The Revenge.
I am so not kidding.
As I said, this story is written like it was done by an amateur, but Kramer is really a talented writer pretending to write like an amateur. He simply throws everything that he finds awesome, throws it in a blender, hits the puree switch, and actually manages to produce a taste little story shake. It’s one of those stories that’s just fun to read. There’s no high-minded social commentary or metaphor here. It was the author sitting down and saying “Let me write something totally cool and awesome!”
While short (a common thing with a lot of Bizarro books), the length feels right. Any longer and it probably would have felt like too much or could have dragged. My main complaint with the book is that it feels a little too diversionary at times. I really wonder what Vince Kramer could write in a longer format and if he toned down a little. But at the same time and at this length, diversionary isn’t bad.
Gigantic Death Worm by Vince Kramer earns 4 tequila shots out of 5.