Tag Archives: rant

Reflections: The Pre-Wedding Jitters?

ThumbnailNot so much, but there is a lot of reflection in these, the last 24 hours of bachelorhood.

This post is bluntly honest, because, well, it’s incredibly late and I’m very tired.

At 2:00 p.m. today, I will enter into the bond of marriage. I wrote about Olivia and our engagement in a previous post, so I won’t reiterate what was said there.

But during this time, there’s a lot to think about. First of all, I have to be honest. Planning a big wedding sucks! There is so much to take care of, which means that there’s that much more to go wrong, which we’ve been experiencing in droves. Not to mention the cost. We’ll see how things play out once we’re actually in the event. But the planning and prep work has been a real chore. Don’t get me wrong, I truly love my wife-to-be, and want the best for her, but getting to this point has been a real slog.

Especially over the last week, people keep asking me if I’m getting nervous or excited, and some have even asked why I seem so calm. Strange, especially when everyone keeps asking you. Well, there’s two reasons. One is that I’ve been so busy, I haven’t had much time to stop and think, “Oh, shit! I’m actually getting married.” The other reason is that, with rare exception, I don’t get worked up over much because of a general philosophy that things go wrong. I will try the best I can to prevent those things, but they still happen, and there’s not much to really be done about them. We can build the boat, but we can’t control the river. We have now built that boat, but we’re about to put it in the river, so we might as well enjoy the ride, white water rapids and all. Life is too short to get worked up over insignificant details. After all, tomorrow, the sun will still rise regardless of what happens.

Less than twelve hours away, and am I nervous? It’s 2:00 a.m. the night before my wedding as I write this. What do you think? Well, in a manner of speaking. It’s more that there’s been a ton of last minute stuff to do, and I’m still doing it. Why this had to be done now, I don’t know. But it does. I’m more stressed than nervous, focused on the job at hand.

So, it’s turned into a bit of a late-night vigil for me. A chance to reflect on the pre-wedding experience and on bachelor life. Bachelor life has its advantages and disadvantages. Independence is not bad, and I’m an only-child afterall, so I’ve always had a slightly independent streak. But there does come a time when you realize it’s not good to be alone, and you find someone who is, in my case, so strangely compatible that you want to stay with her and be with her for the rest of your life. Will I miss bachelor life? Maybe. I don’t know. I know that being married is definitely going to be different. I have faith it will be better, but it will take some adjustment after having been independent for so long. I love my fiancé dearly and with all my heart. She is the love of my life, and I can’t imagine a different path for us, despite the stresses of this wedding. Do I have pre-wedding jitters? No, I do not. But I can recognize the apprehension I feel for what it is, and that is humanity’s natural aversion to significant change. But this a good change that I don’t fear, even though baser animal instincts make me a little anxious.

I also want to take this opportunity to publicly thank all those who came together to help us put this day together, from both families. They are numerous, and I’m afraid that if I start naming names, I’ll forget someone and they’ll be offended. So, you know who you are! Thank you!

I will post more later on reflections on the wedding itself.

To Sum Things Up…

ThumbnailI think I know why I haven’t been making many personal blog posts lately. When I get behind, I feel I have to talk about too much, so a blog post with personal thoughts or a life update becomes a daunting task. And as more time slips by, it becomes ever more daunting. Kind of like how you can be given a deadline, which is easily met if you start right away with little effort, but you procrastinate constantly until the deadline comes up, and then it’s extremely difficult to get everything done quickly.

So, I’m going to do a very quick summary about things of late or that I’ve wanted to talk about in order to catch up, and hopefully “clear the table,” as it were, so that I can handle everything else as it comes up instead of just keeping this as a review blog.

To start, things with the wedding are now progressing at a breakneck pace. We’re in the final month, which means that bills are coming due, meetings are happening, and stress levels are high. Don’t get me wrong, I love my fiancé and want to marry her, but I’ll admit that the stresses of having a fairly large wedding are getting to me. Honestly, I think I’m going to be glad when it’s done. It’s helped that we’ve had family and friends helping us with various aspects of it, and my fiancé was just thrown a lovely bridal shower last Saturday, which was wonderful (I showed up at the very end to help her with the gifts; you know, the important stuff). That’s all I’m going to say on that at the moment.

Unfortunately, with the stresses of the wedding, I haven’t been eating very well, which I openly admit. So I haven’t been losing weight, but instead gaining. I need to get this under control. At least lately I seem to have stopped gaining weight, so the chart is no longer going up. Now I need to refocus on actually losing weight.

Both my fiancé and I are looking at going to grad school, although for vastly different things. I’m looking to finally apply this year and make the deadlines for school to start next year. She’s looking to push hers up to this year. Wish us luck!

My mother had to go back in for neck surgery again. Although, this wasn’t related to here previous surgery exactly. It sounded like it was a similar problem as what made the previous surgery necessary, but in a different area of her spine (above where the last one was). While she’s still recovering, she is saying that she’s feeling a lot better than she was before the surgery. Hopefully she’ll be okay by the wedding.

On the death of Roger Ebert: Yes, I do want to say something here, especially given my own penchant for critiquing movies and books. His death is a huge loss to the world of criticism. Ebert was brilliant in how he could say things, and his review of “North” was easily one of my favorite of all time. While I did disagree with him, not only on his opinions of some movies but on his ideas about story, such as how video games could never tell a truly compelling story, I could at least respect him for his opinions because he would give well-thought-out reasons for those opinions. So, it’s not just a loss to movies and criticism but to reasoned argument as well, and it seems that there’s no real heir apparent to fill the void.

As for my writing projects, there’s not much movement. I’ve been having some trouble focusing for a while now. Okay, a lot of trouble, which is not helping me much in any aspect. I don’t know if it’s full-on writer’s block, but it is in some form. I’ll say more on this later, because it deserves it’s own post.

Opinions of world event:

The panic over North Korea makes me laugh. It’s the exact same crap they’ve pulled before, and it’s meaningless. It’s nothing but the new leader Kim Jong-un, trying to establish himself as a strong leader, but his inexperience is showing in that he’s pushing the joke too far.

Margaret Thatcher died. Mixed feeling there, but many others have explained those mixed reasons better than I have, so I don’t feel the need to repeat them.

A pope resigned, and there’s a new pope who seems like an interesting person. I’m taking a wait and see approach on this one.

On gay marriage, I’m for it, and I honestly don’t understand the arguments against it. The surprise on this was Bill O’Reilly, who said on his program (paraphrasing here) that all the arguments against gay marriage amount to little more than Bible-thumping. I couldn’t have said it better.

I think that will cover it for now. Hopefully, this catches me up and I can blog regularly and not just review stuff. Wish me luck on that, too!

‘Til next time…

Pardon My Politics: Why I Voted Green

ThumbnailNote: I’m writing this while sick with some kind of stomach bug, so while I have what, in my mind, are rather cogent arguments, I wrote this in a hurry and may not have expressed myself in the best possible manner. I may come back and revisit it when I’m feeling better, but I want to publish this while it was still relevant.

I want to talk about politics for once. It’s something I generally avoid doing. It’s not that I don’t like politics. If anything, I’m something of a political junkie. It’s more that I don’t think most people care about it that much (at least in many conversations I’ve had) and that they care even less about my opinion. Sure, I’ll do the occasional funny quip on Twitter, or repost something on Facebook that’s so on the nose that I have a sick compulsion to do so, but generally, I keep my opinions to myself or directed to a very select group.

However, this once, I’m breaking my rule because I want to explain my strategic decision to vote Green in the 2012 election cycle.

To start, I don’t live in a swing state. California is pretty much a guarantee to go for Obama and the Democrats. So, I’m not putting anything at risk.

Usually, voting for a third party is accepted as a protest vote. It’s not really going to swing an election (there’s some debate about that in 2000, but I’m not going into that here), and it’s mostly done to make a point. Admittedly, my vote isn’t all that different when boiled down.

I don’t have anything personal against Obama, per se. I’m one of those people who is not all that disappointed with him, but probably for different reasons. It’s more that I didn’t have high expectations for him back in 2008. I’ve been through this before, and I recognized his words as, albeit inspiring, were ultimately not much more than campaign rhetoric. There has been a continuation of damaging Bush-era policies, and people claim that we had Wall Street reform, but I’m not sure what they’re talking about on that front. Now, I will grant that he has been hampered by a virulent and uncompromising Republican party who has systematically kept recovery efforts down in an effort to make Obama look bad. That’s not an exaggeration. That was actually their stated goal.

Which leads to the Romney/Ryan ticket. This ticket really seemed like a bad joke, and to be honest, I don’t get it. I don’t understand how a campaign can be run with such illogical and flat-out false statements, with a total disregard for reason or even basic math. And I don’t get why they have the support they do. I mean, if you’re part of the super-rich in this country, I get it. Romney’s your man, and you probably couldn’t get a better candidate who represents your interests. But I don’t understand anyone else voting for him. I don’t get how this many people are being convinced to vote against their own interests. Romney and Ryan are not your friend, and their policies will not help you or the country. The policies they’re promoting are what got us into this mess in the first place.

So, why did I vote for Jill Stein? Simply because the Green Party platform lines up the most with my own weighted values (based on how important each one is to me), making them what I’m ironically calling the “politically moral choice.” I decided to vote my conscience and inline with my values, not simply to vote for the lesser of two evils.

I hear the argument all the time that you’re just throwing your vote away by voting for a third party, or that you’re hurting the better candidate by taking votes away from them. Honestly, I’m tired of hearing it. If those candidates represented my values and stances, I would vote for them. The way I see it, third party candidates aren’t stealing votes, but rather the big two lost them because they refuse to address issues that are important to a number of people. And honestly, I think we could actually benefit from a European style parliamentary system with representation from third parties forcing the creation of alliances and coalitions between parties, creating truly productive compromise.

I’m not voting Democratic because the Democrats don’t represent me. The Democrats haven’t been a liberal party since the 1970s, despite what Fox News would have you believe. In fact, I find the Republicans more honest, At least they aren’t hiding the fact that they’re working for the rich and for big business. The Democrats, on the other hand, are wolves in sheeps’ clothing. They pretend that they’re working for the little guy, when in fact they’re working for the same people the Republicans are.

I have no illusions that the Greens will win. It would be nice if they could get 5 percent of the vote. It would even be nice if Gary Johnson and the Libertarians win 5 percent, as it would be advantageous to see a return of Eisenhower Republicanism to the political conversation. I doubt that will happen. But my vote for the Greens is a vote of conscience and a vote for representation rather than resignation.

Thanks For Dropping By: In Loving Memory of Ralph Nylander

Note: This is a little late, and while I probably should have had this available weeks ago, for obvious reasons it’s been extremely difficult to write anything, let alone this. Despite the delay, I’ve decide to put this up because I told myself I would and for my grandfather, but don’t feel any obligation to read it.

I want to tell you about my grandfather. No, I’m not going to give you a biography, or tell you stories about his time in the Navy in World War II, or things like that. There are other people who were closer to those stories who could tell them better than I could. Instead, I want to tell you about the man I personally knew during my life.

The first thing you would probably notice is that he was a quiet man. He wasn’t the most talkative, and I can’t recall one incident where I ever heard him raise his voice. He was always calm in the face of adversity, almost Zen-like.

My grandfather worked. A lot. As an electrician, he was always working on different properties and on the move. But even then, he always had some project he was working on, building something, fixing something, renovating something. He was always happiest with something to do. I think when he finally retired, more out of necessity because his body just wouldn’t take it anymore than an actual desire to retire, it was one of the hardest things he had to do.

Partly because of all his work, we always knew that if we ever needed anything, any piece of equipment, any tool, he probably had it. My grandfather was a packrat, something that both my father and I have inherited, although not on the level my grandfather showed. About ten years ago, when my grandparents were moving after having been in their house for more than 20 years, we had to help them clean the house out of things they weren’t going to take with them. Ultimately, we had to haul off two 40-foot dumpsters, something that, just by looking at him, he wasn’t happy about in the least. It was a kind of emotional pain that was difficult to see on such a kind man.

And my grandfather was a very kind and polite man. Another thing that people would notice after visiting with him for a while was…well, it’s really hard to describe. It was as though he always had a smile in his eyes, a twinkle that never left.

Despite his penchant for work (and work he did; right before going in for knee replacement surgery, he was up on the roof of their house installing a satellite dish), he always had time for his family. At the house I grew up in in my earlier years, he had a shop attached to the garage, and he came by often to get tools and equipment, make phone calls, and other stuff. But he always made time for me if I was there and never turned me away. He was a family man, and even as his health was failing, you could see in his eyes that he loved having his family around and was very protective of us.

And through everything, my grandfather was one of the most polite men I’ve ever known. Always kind and gentle, even in the hospital when he was the most uncomfortable, he would thanks the nurses for their help. As the Alzheimer’s Disease did its work and his body was failing, who a person is at their core really comes through. And this was who he was. That kindness and politeness never left him the whole time. He even seemed uncomfortable, not just because of the physical pain, but because people were making such a fuss over him. He was always self-effacing, never wanting accolades or fusses made over him. I remember that during my grandparents’ 50th wedding anniversary party, while he loved having his family around, he felt embarrassed and mostly tolerated the fact people were there to celebrate him and my grandmother. He never felt he needed to be praised for simply doing the right thing, because you’re supposed to do the right thing because it’s the right thing.

My grandfather loved visitors, though, up until the end. When people were leaving, he always said “Thanks for dropping by.” And even near the end, if we were just getting up to go to another part of the room, he would always be sure to say “Thanks for dropping by.”

On July 29, 2012, my grandfather, Ralph Nylander, passed away after complications from Alzheimer’s disease. There are some who say that we’re only passing through this life, that it’s temporary no matter what you do. I consider myself very lucky to be his grandson and to have had him pass through my life. I’ve always said that people should be treated politely, but shouldn’t get genuine respect by default. That kind of respect needs to be earned and deserved. And my grandfather was most deserving of that respect. He would probably be incredibly embarrassed to be reading this as he hated this kind of fuss over him, but it needs to be said nonetheless. He was a kind, gentle, hard-working man who just did the right thing and led a good life. Someone that others could look up to and respect. I guess what I really want to say is this:

Thanks for dropping by, Grandpa.

We miss you…

Why I Blacked Out: Thoughts on SOPA and PIPA

Thumbnail

UPDATED January 20, 2012

For those few who follow my blog, you will know that yesterday I blacked it out in solidarity with other sites like Wikipedia and Reddit in protest of the Stop Online Piracy Act (SOPA) and the Protect IP Act (PIPA). These bills are incredibly dangerous, but they need some explanation. Several good explanations have been given by others online, but as someone who has watched the fight over intellectual property online for years, I would like to give my own take on this. I’m not going to go into the legalese of it, but I will give my opinion on the basics and in a historical context. I will start by giving the main point of this article in two parts:

SOPA and PIPA have little to nothing to do with protecting intellectual property. They are solely about control of the medium and, therefore, the message.

Yes, that is a Marshall McLuhan reference.

Copyright and intellectual property disputes have a history of abuse in the U.S. Even before the internet as we know it, there was a rather famous case where Universal sued a budding video game developer called Nintendo for infringing on their intellectual property “King Kong” with the game called “Donkey Kong.” A large, wealthy movie studio and distributor was using copyright law to beat down and try to get a piece of the pie from a popular game in the fledgling video game industry of the early ’80s. Just as it seemed that Universal was about to win or Nintendo was going to need to settle the case just to prevent an expensive legal battle, it was revealed that Universal didn’t actually have the rights to “King Kong,” and had in fact argued that “King Kong” was in the public domain years before. Without this revelation, who knows what could have happened in technology and entertainment, but it is worrying to think about how close things came, simply over a claim of copyright infringement by a party with lots of money against a little guy who had little at that time.

Under current U.S. Law, we have the Digital Millennium Copyright Act (DMCA). Passed in 1998, this was intended to protect intellectual property online, or at least that was the story that was given for it. Like SOPA and PIPA, it was extraordinarily shortsighted, and failed to grasp the magnitude of the internet and the fact that it’s a global system, not simply a U.S. property. Most cease and desist letters for infringement on copyright that get things taken off Youtube or other sites are based on claims under the DMCA. This was the primary reason that Napster was originally taken offline.

However, when the DMCA went into law and the first infringement letters were sent out, another battle began, and certain truths began to come out. Let’s take the music industry as an example. Here, this battle arose between the actual artists and major record labels. People began to understand that most artists don’t get that much off of their record sales, but that most of the money went to the label instead. In short, the DMCA was not protecting the artists, but was instead protecting a business model that was fast becoming outdated. It was the labels refusing to change their business model, feeling that they should continue to do business the way they’ve always done and make money the way they always had. And, boy, have they gone kicking and screaming into the new millennium.

You see, the problem is that under the old system, artists needed the labels. There was no way they could get their material out into wide distribution without them. But, suddenly, artists didn’t need the labels anymore. Under a new online system, the “industry” could be bypassed and would no longer be needed. Of course, that didn’t stop them. They brought lawsuits against people for file-sharing with dubious evidence at best, and most people have settled these lawsuit because they can’t afford the same legal bills the industry can. Money isn’t the result of lawsuits anymore; it’s how they’re won.

The DMCA has been used in other, chilling ways, mostly to silence criticism and free speech. One example was when the Church of Scientology attempted to silence their critics online by claiming that by revealing their secrets, the critics were infringing on their intellectual property and, therefore, violating the DMCA. Again, it’s about controlling the message.

Ultimately, the DMCA has proven to be rather ineffectual in maintaining control. It requires too precise a strike each time, having to cite each individual instance and giving the violator an opportunity to remove the offending material. Something that is difficult to do, since many have discovered that once something is out there, it’s nearly impossible to remove it from the internet. This is where SOPA and PIPA come in.

Under these acts, a mere claim of infringement could have an entire site taken down or blocked. Think of it this way: Under the current system, if someone posts something to Youtube that infringes on copyright, they would notify Youtube of the infringement, and the infringing material is taken down. Under these new proposed laws, the whole of Youtube could be taken down. And I need to point out something here. This is not if the a case gets brought to trial and they’re found guilty. This is if there’s a claim of infringement. In short, it could be used to silence critics immediately, as the DMCA has been used to do, and effectively puts into U.S. Law a variation of the atrocious British libel system, where a claim of libel is already assumed to be true and the defendant must prove their innocence, usually against a party who has many more resources at their disposal to fight in court. In other words, we’re talking about the end of fair use and free speech.

Should artist be protected from having their intellectual property stolen? Yes, although as an artist myself I have to admit that I’m not exactly impartial. However, these laws not only go too far but don’t protect artists. They protect controls put in place by large industries. They protect industries, outdated business practices, and those with resources vastly exceeding those available to the little guy. You see, on the internet, we’re all equals. Everyone can have an equal voice. It’s the ideal democracy, the very essence of “one man, one vote,” where I have the same say as, say, the CEO of a major bank. Under these proposed laws, that could ends, as the little guy gets silenced immediately and will be unable to defend himself against the resource of those who will win simply by outspending them in the ensuing fight. The internet allows the bypassing of these old systems. A recent example would the Occupy movement, which was a genuine grassroots movement where information circulated primarily through the internet because at first the major media outlets refused to even recognize its existence. When Occupy became a significant meme online, the media companies had no choice but to address it. Under these laws, any speech by could be silenced if someone says so. Chilling? I would say so, and it violates one of the basic freedoms we are supposed to enjoy in the U.S.

However, as I write this post, lawmakers are taking note. Even former co-sponsors Roy Blunt and Marco Rubio have withdrawn their support in the face of massive public outcry. You may notice the ribbon in the upper right corner of this site. This will remain up through the scheduled vote on January 24. Clicking on it will take you to the Stop American Censorship page where you can sign a petition where you can make your voice heard. I encourage you to make you voice heard. They’re listening.

Update (1/12/2012):

We won! Sort of…

The SOPA and PIPA bills have been postponed indefinitely. However, this does not mean that the fight is over. The fact that these were proposed and considered so seriously with so much congressional support is concerning in and of itself. This was not the first time there’s been an attempt to put content control into law, and it won’t be the last. From the CNN article:

“The House will ‘postpone consideration of the legislation until there is wider agreement on a solution,’ House Judiciary Committee Chairman Lamar Smith said in a written statement.”

I will emphasize that these bills are not dead, just postponed. Your voice still needs to be heard, and I encourage everyone to continue writing to your representatives to make your opinion know. But for now, we’ve been heard and listened to, the people won, and independent artists and innovators can enjoy a victory, even if it’s temporary, as the war rages on.